The Art of Listening

There is an art form that is lacking in our current day and age.  It is the art form of listening to one another.  I was reading one of my favorite author’s this morning.  A man by the name of Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  Bonhoeffer was a Christian minister who was martyred for his faith in Nazi Germany.  He wrote about the art of listening.  This is what he wrote:

            As the love of God begins with us listening to his Word, so the love of our sisters and brothers begins with us learning to listen to them.  God’s love for us consists not only in giving us his Word but also in lending us his ear.  Thus it is his work that we do for our brothers and sisters when we learn to listen to them.

            Bonhoeffer is correct.  One of the most effective methods of communication is to listen carefully to what others are saying.  Yet, one of the most difficult disciplines we can cultivate is to listen carefully to what others are saying.  Knowing this is not our nature, St. James gave this warning to the early church:  “My dear brothers, take note of this:  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19).”  Good listening is particularly important for someone interested in having a deep relationship with someone else.

But now what is listening?  Listening is not the absence of speaking.  You can be silent and still be tuning out.  Listening is something that must be done proactively and intentionally.  In our social media age, rapid status updates and never-ending tweets, fuels the misconception that we must always contribute something to the conversation.  We often feel that this is the one service that we have to offer.  But we often forget that listening to someone can be a greater service than speaking or merely giving someone our opinion. 

Now you might say, “Well I do listen, all the time.”  Perhaps. But there is also a kind of listening with a bent towards already knowing what the other person has to say.  It is an impatient, inattentive listening, that despises the other and is only waiting for a chance to speak and then get rid of that other person.

We need to remember that God has committed to listening to us.  We need to pray that we are able to listen to one another with the same patient ears of God.